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The Spin-Offs: Luis Suarez bite inspires Sex Toy (Nipple Clamp) & Bottle Opener

Friday, July 04, 2014 by 101 GREAT GOALS

Unless something truly sensational happens from now until the end of the tournament, it’s hard to see how Luis Suarez’s bite will be topped for Moment of the Tournament.

From the moment Suarez bit Giogrio Chiellini’s shoulder, the white noise around the Uruguayan and (still) Liverpool striker has been relentless, with El Pistolero receiving a 4 month ban from football for his misdemeanor.

And now, after the memes, jokes, affaires d’etat and more scandal than you can shake a stick at, come the invention spin-offs.

Firstly, Swedish sex shop ‘Oliver & Eva’ has invented the Suarez Nipple Clamp,  a a self-explanatory sex toy bearing Suarez’s bare teeth at the point of the clamp, on sale for 33 Euros.

“Maybe Suarez will be proud to spread a bit of pleasure and love, despite his error on the field,” said store director Tobias Lundqvist.

Another, less kinky and more practical invention comes from Chinese website Taobao.com, who’ve brought out the Suarez Bottle Opener.

According to their website, it can be procured for a mere 14p, though they’re already being resold on Ebay for several pounds.

No more need to use your teeth.

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